Hiding in Plain Sight

Shopping for clothes has never been a fun thing I enjoyed doing. I would only buy clothes when I needed them, or after gaining a bunch of weight when I “grew” out of them. Ironically, when I lost weight, I generally didn’t buy new clothes. I just wore the same clothes only baggier. Whenever my friends or my sister wanted to go shopping, I would humor them and tag along, but had no expectation of finding anything I liked or anything in my size. I would walk up to a rack and pretend I was looking for myself, then give up and look for things for them. I was just there. Not really participating, not really having fun, just there in my thoughts, talking to myself about how big I was, how ugly I was and how I wished I had a cuter, skinnier body. Continue reading “Hiding in Plain Sight”

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Size Matters

Back in my early 20’s, I bought a beautiful royal blue, sequined, form-fitting dress from Dillard’s. I loved it and knew I would love wearing it. I could imagine feeling sexy in it, but at the time, I didn’t have the slim body shape needed to wear it. But I bought it anyway and used it as a goal to lose weight – “someday, I’ll be skinny enough to wear it.” And there it hung in my closet. For years. Continue reading “Size Matters”